5 Signs You Can't Afford To Ignore

expat life expat mums expat parenting expat parenting abroad Jan 25, 2021

Have you ever had that niggling feeling that something isn’t quite right? That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that all is not well in your world?

You keep pushing it aside. You keep focused on your family and their needs. You keep ignoring “that” feeling.

Well my friend, I’m here to share that you are not doing yourself any favours. You are not doing your family any favours. If you’re not fully OK, then you’re doing yourself and your family a disservice. You are not able to give 100%. And that’s not fair on anyone, let alone you!

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, then let me share the 5 signs that you really can’t afford to ignore.

  1. You don’t feel like it. You don’t really want to get out of bed in the morning. You drag your feet going about your usual daily routine, without stopping to think about what you’re actually doing. Even when someone suggests doing something together, you wonder if you’ve even got the energy?
  2. You find yourself feeling a little jealous of other people’s lives. Even if they’re a close friend, and you're actually really happy for them. You still feel a little envious. They’ve “got it together” and they’re doing what they want. They’re spending their time and energy in a way they choose - not stuck on the wheel of life, going through the same routine day in day out. And you feel jealous.
  3. You can’t remember the last time you laughed out loud. Your kids share jokes with you, and you smile with them. Your friend shares a good story and you nod along, smiling. Your husband says he loves you, and you smile and automatically reply “I love you too”. But now you stop and think about it, you can’t remember actually feeling true emotions, let alone laughing out loud. When was the last time you had tears rolling down your face from pure joy?
  4. Lately you’ve been over indulging. That extra piece of chocolate. That last cookie in the packet. And god forbid, that extra glass or two of wine - because frankly I deserve it after the holiday season we’ve just had! But in the next moment, the next morning, you have that sinking feeling again… oh!
  5. You spend all your time and energy focused on your family. The minute you do stop to think about yourself and what you might need, let alone actually want, you feel wracked with guilt! Add to that, you can’t even remember what your interests and passions are!?! Your identity has become totally wrapped up in your family.

If you answered with an ahhhh… yeah! to any of these signs, then now is the time to stop. Recognise it for what it is. And make a change in your life.

You owe it to yourself. You owe it to your family. You need (and want) to make a change.

But how? Where do you start?

The simplest way to start is to recognise your true feelings. Get really honest with yourself, what is the truth behind how I’m feeling right now. Grab your journal (or a piece of paper) and write it down, really articulate it for yourself. If you’re a creative person start to doodle it.

Then ask yourself one question, so what?

So what does it mean for me? So what does it mean for my family? And most importantly… So what am I prepared to do about it? 

If you are prepared to do something about it then ask yourself, so what do I want it to look like for me? Is it rediscovering a hobby? Is it reading a book? Is it learning a new skill? Is it returning to part time work? For everyone, the outcome is different but the process to get there is the same.

One of the most difficult aspects is actually getting real with yourself, but also knowing it’s OK. Frankly at some point, as mothers and women, we will all relate to at least one of the 5 signs. Let’s just say it’s a normal age and stage thing, like we refer to the development of our kids. What’s important is that we accept it, stop beating ourselves up about it, move forward and do the “next right thing” (borrowing a phrase from Oprah).

What is your ‘next right thing’?

You’ve got this my friend. You can take control of your life again in these 5 simple steps:

  1. Recognise which of the 5 signs apply to you
  2. Write down what it looks like, get honest with yourself
  3. What is the impact of how you’re feeling - on yourself, your family?
  4. What are you prepared to do about it?
  5. What is your next right thing?

If you want to delve deeper and be guided along the way, download my FREE resource BOOST Your Life Satisfaction >>www.expatparentingabroad.com/gift<< and start your journey today!

 

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